the sun is here somewhere

It is hard to believe that we are already two weeks into March. 2009 seems be flying despite our attempts to slow it down. As we try to embrace the season of Lent, we feel even more bogged down from things that demand our constant attention.
I am working on "resting" during this time before Easter - to really slow down and find God. Eric is focusing on worshipping the Lord through music. Both are easier said than done. We both work, volunteer, teach, have friends, have house responsibilities, and need downtime. Our nights are filled with bible studies, music practice, youth activities, folding laundry, and being a couple.
We struggle with finding room for things on the calendar. Which do we write in - the things we feel called and excited to do? or events and people sending us mailings, asking for our time, leading new groups? We cannot possibly do everything. And the feeling is overwhelming.
Personally, the Lord has been speaking to my heart - asking me to spend one morning sewing with the women, loving and getting to know a pregnant woman whose husband is about to go to Iraq, growing current friendships, building community, learning to cook, mentoring youth group girls, spending more time with Him, learning Portuguese (for our upcoming trip), and building margin back into my life. Adding these things to my current life would make it explode. I declined the women's conference, women's retreat, leading a new study, joining another study, and becoming involved in an exhausting friendship. I am praying for wisdom as we plan for spring and summer months.
So much for an easy Lent!
Although, the point of Lent is to grow closer to God. To alter our life in some way that we have to grow closer to Him. Some do this by giving up a luxury, fasting, volunteering, or giving an aspect of life to God. Many times, Ash Wednesday starts out smoothly, but real life sets in. Our complicated lives, troubled hearts, and worldly desires make the road rough. All of this roughness polishes our hearts and prepares them for us to understand the sacrifice that was made on Friday and the promise that was fulfilled on Sunday.

Our snow has finally melted and the sun makes an appearance every so often. The snow, rain, fog, dark mornings, and cold hasn't been easy for a girl dreaming of spring. We ordered our vegetable seeds, chose three flowers to plant out front, and will visit the Vespa dealer tomorrow. It has been hard living in the moment when we are wishing it was warmer.
Warm weather brings with it so many promises - visits from family and friends, our trip to Brazil, visits to our new park, walks around the neighborhood, and wearing skirts without tights.
A Relient K song sums up my feelings -

High of 75 - Relient K
We were talking together
I said, "what's up with this weather?"
Don't know whether or not
How sad I just got
Was of my own volition.
Or if I'm just missing the sun

And tomorrow, I know,
Will be rainy at best.
And the forecast, I know,
Is that I'll be depressed.
But I'll wait outside
Hoping that I'll catch sight of the sun.

[Chorus:]
Because on and off,
The clouds have fought
Their control over the sky
And lately the weather
Has been so Bi-polar
And Consequently so have I

And now I'm sunny with a High of 75
Since You took my heavy heart
And made it light
And its funny how you find
You enjoy your life
When you're happy to be alive

And the temperature is freezing
And then, after dark,
There is a cold front sweeping
In over my heart
And we might break up
If I don't wake up to the sun

[Chorus]

Sunny with a High of 75
Since You took my heavy heart
And made it light (made it light)
And its funny how you find
You enjoy your life
When you're happy to be...Alive

Usually, our moods are very light - so this blog is as well. But, this is a space to share our lives with you - honest - real - and sometimes raw. Feelings of overwhelm and trying to simplify our lives are real. And they may pass soon, but we hope to learn a lesson in all of this. And trust the Lord in His leading.