Warm and Fozzie

What gives you the warm and fuzzies?

My new nail polish is from the OPI Muppets line and called Warm and Fozzie (as in everyone's favorite joke telling bear). Every time I glimpse my sparkling ten little finger nails, I get the warm and fuzzies. My nails feel like such a statement in these gray days.

This is what they speak to me:
Christmas
That I am worth the fifteen minutes of quiet time it takes to paint them
And they remind me of my mother (who LOVES having painted nails)

I was surprised at how much putting a little paint on my nails would make me smile. I often need little reminders like this to see that the world is shiny and bright.

Christmas has arrived

My heart beats wildly when spring bulbs begin to emerge. My mouth waters in anticipation when the first fruits of our garden are ready to harvest. Fall leaves are the perfect back drop to cooling days. But there is something so magical and wonderful about Christmas, nothing compares.

When I was a little girl, most Christmases were spent with my mother, who made each day count. Our birthdays, which are dangerously close to the big day, we're set apart and we were treated like the miracles we were.

I was worried that as I got older, the magic would fade. I've heard so many adults only speak of Christmas as hurdle they dread each year. To-do lists, shopping, and travel complicate their already busy lives. So I made a promise to myself, that I would fight to keep my Christmas joy alive. So far it is working.

Everyone has important holiday traditions, so we honor only the ones dearest to our hearts.

We decorate the house before most people do (a few key pieces went up before Thanksgiving this year). We love that the living spaces glow while we rest at night.

For the first time in my entire life, I am living in a house with lights outside. I grew up in base housing and apartments, so putting up outside lights weren't really a viable option. Thanks to solar panel lights, we have a modest strand on both the upstairs and downstairs porches. Our neighbors are already enjoying them. Apartment living at it's best!

I am a list maker and goal setter. I have been since I was a little girl. But Christmas is the one time of year that I let it all go. We send out a small handful of Christmas cards (last year we sent seven), cookies only get made if we have time (last year they were squirrels, brontosauruses, and stars), and our gift giving is VERY limited. This leaves plenty of time to watch my favorite TV Christmas movies, still go to the gym, and avoid holiday crowds.

Of course there are things I just don't get to -
The newsletter I've been meaning to write for six years.
Handmade bird ornaments for the tree that I started three years ago.
Homemade cookies for everyone that we love.
But these things aren't more important than the feeling of Christmas. Instead of focusing on the things I didn't complete, I try to spend quality time with loved ones and those who need my time. That is what Christmas means to me. Gifts of love, time, and self. After all, that is exactly what Jesus did.

What do you need to take off of your Christmas to-do list in order to find joy?

We wish everyone peace and joy this Christmas.

What to pack

Always be sure to include:
Enough socks and underwear
Weather appropriate outfits
Snacks
Your kitty

Making myself smile

There are millions of images on the Internet. My husband has gotten in the habit of searching for something silly or cute to send to me when I am having a rough day (he is brilliant AND kind). I thought that I could join him in this habit. Below is one of my favorite pictures you can find on the vast world wide web. This sweet boy brightens my day. I hope he does the same for you.

the iPhone

So....

I got the beautiful white new iPhone 4s. Our credit card debt is not completely gone, but it is so close we can taste it.

I had promised myself (and others) that we wouldn't buy the phone until all the credit card debt was done - - but all those plans were Lord willing. The plan was good. The self-control displayed was wonderful. But things change.

My red phone served me for five years. The past year or so, the internal antenna must not have been working, because my signal was terrible. If someone called while I was at home, it didn't usually ring. To make a call, I would stand in the corner of our bedroom and it would still break up horribly. I just stopped using it. Then a few days before the iPhone pre-order started, my phone started to physically fall apart (literally, pieces were falling off of it).

My husband has hated that my phone doesn't really work. He hated nights when I was out late and he couldn't reach me. He loves me. He worries about me. And I love that about him.

So when the opportunity to pre-order the new (gorgeous) iPhone came, we did it. Because I hadn't upgraded in ages, I got a wonderful deal. Plus, it is beautiful (did I mention that?).

My best girlfriend, Sara, was my first called and she could hear me clearly! Praise the Lord! No more repeating myself and trying to figure out broken sentences.

A small bonus is that my purse is so much lighter now. My new phone replaced my old phone, my iPod touch (Eric's old one that I used), and my calendar.

A huge blessing was how well the phone worked when we were traveling for my grandmother's funeral. I was able to keep in touch with people when I only had minutes to spare. My heart needed that contact and well wishes.

And it is so pretty.

A beautiful woman

My grandmother died today.

Before I ever knew who Martha Stewart was, I loved my grandma-Esther. She was a woman that I always admired and constantly found myself trying to measure up to. She sewed and cooked and created and knit and cleaned and entertained and baked and hosted and prayed and LOVED. And she was loved by so many.

She married "later in life" at the ripe age of 29. She raised four wonderful children who grew into amazing, life changing human beings. She made her home a place of love and warmth. She spent summers teaching me to sew and create. I never thought that I was creative enough until I heard her words of encouragement.

Then I got married. And it turns out that having a wedding does not suddenly make you an accomplished homemaking wife. I was devastated that my meals left my husband unsatisfied. Trying to darn even the smallest of mitten holes was frustrating. And my knitting projects never elevated to much more than scarves. I spent an evening at my grandmother's table crying, "Grandma, why can't I be a wife like you? How in the world have you become so good at everything and why didn't I inherit it?" She and my grandfather laughed. "When I married your grandma, she couldn't cook a bean!" Then I learned how hard she worked over the years to be the woman she had become. It wasn't by accident or chance that she was so wonderful; it was from loving her family and working hard.

Today she went to heaven, where she will spent an eternity with the God who so lovingly created her. But today I am sad for my loss. And for those who lost their wife, mother, and friend.

My heart and life will not be the same.

I found this picture today. It beautifully captures who she was. She had a way of making us feel special (I am positive my grandpa was never allowed to have crackers in bed) and we couldn't help but fall in love with her. I hope that one day I will be as good a wife, mother, and friend as she was.

The next steps

First day with my lovely new iPhone and I have already figured out how to post to my blog. How wonderful. Guess this space will be seeing more of me.

Sometimes you have to make a promise to others

Sometimes you have to make a promise to others in order to keep one to yourself.

Case in point - I want an iPhone. Really badly. But, I have decided to buy one once our credit card debt is paid off. At first, I thought of just caving. People set goals all the time and don't achieve them. Why not me too?
But then I made a point to mention it to a few people when they asked why I didn't have one (my husband has a work provided iPhone). I responded "I'll get one when we no longer have credit card debt." Bold. At least it felt that way.

Now that promise is out there in the world. The words have been spoken. It has become truth.

Last weekend we went shopping. My very generous husband mentioned that we would be near the Apple store and could easily get me the phone. Oh. I thought about it. For at least a day and a half.

And it broke my heart to say "no."

I made a promise. To myself. And to others. I'm going to try my hardest to keep it.

I do not have a poker face

Eric and I have recently discovered the sport (ahem...gambling) of poker. This game has been around longer than I have been alive, but it feels very new and fresh to us. Suddenly we notice all the phrases used in casual conversation that originated from the game and have been recording the World Series of Poker on one of those sports channels. We've learned some of the lingo and watched the biggest poker brats videos on youtube.

Even though we are playing online with fake money, we cannot contain our anxieties or excitement. When one of us has a good chance to win a large pot (notice the lingo), there is lots of yelling and jumping around. Sadly, neither of us has a poker face.

There is a possibility that a friend of ours is going to host a poker event and we've been (pre) invited. At first it seemed like a great idea, but now I'm starting to waiver. I don't think that saying "this is so nerve wracking that I'm going to throw up" is allowed during such events. Or squealing.

I'm not sure how you go about practicing a poker face. Do you tell obvious lies with a straight face - "I had so much fun visiting the moon this weekend."? Do you share exciting news as if it weren't important - "I got a promotion. Isn't that terrible?"

Either way, we have a long way to go.

settled...finally

We've lived in our little town two and half years. But so often I still feel like a newbie when others rattle off streets and landmarks. Recently a girlfriend needed some directions in town and a place for lunch - suddenly I was a wealth of resources. Overnight, I became a confident resident.

I know all the librarians and the women at my salon. The shop guys at the corner finally know me by my first name. All of my in town trips no longer require a GPS.

I love feeling settled.

pretty things

I own pretty things. They sit on my shelves, in my drawers, and hidden away. Last fall I bought an inexpensive pearl necklace. It feels fancy, whimsical, and daring. So I never wore it.

Then we were watching Sarah's House (HTGV - can you hear the Canadian accent I'm faking?) and she was wearing my exact necklace. And she was wearing jeans.

So now I'm determined to wear it once a month, even if I feel silly. Of course, every time I wear it, I get compliments. But feeling brave enough in the morning to put it on is still the struggle. Maybe tomorrow...

how not to take a compliment

I was with a lady friend the other day and she asked "Have I ever told you how much I love your hair?"

I of course responded with "Oh....I hate my hair."

At what age do we learn to take compliments?

the first of its kind

My first gray hair didn't last very long. Naturally, playing with it led to its falling out. I always said that when this day would come, I'd accept it. But now its here and I'm noticing all of my husband's stray grays. I wonder if they are contagious...

a quote to take to heart

To be interested in the changing of seasons is a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring. --George Santayana, Reason and Art

I heart goats

It could be my affinity towards goats that has my radar up at unusual times. When recently working on a large email project at work I came across an address that was goats@ ___.com. I couldn't help my giggles and excitement. The owner of the adorable email address had the first initial of G and last name Oats. I wonder if when giving it out, he says G Oats @ such and such dot com. Or if he enjoys it and simply says "goats". I certainly would boldly assert the name of the adorable animal who can either be fainting, mountain climbing, or just plain cute.

domestic goddess

Dinner is in the oven...
cornbread stuffing (my first attempt at stuffing)
garnet yams
thyme chicken breast (with the skin on)

This is a meal I've been waiting to make until I had all my ducks in order (husband had to put butter under skin the night before, must be home early enough to get it cooked before he gets home, get the nerve to try so many new things).

So now my house smells yummy and I'm feeling accomplished. No matter how it turns out (bland, burnt, or bad) I'm satisfied. I'm learning that cooking is all about trying, not succeeding.

sweet reminder

The other day at work, I was chatting with a very kind woman about an outstanding invoice (I collect money for my company, part of the job as an accountant). This particular nice woman did not have our invoice on file. She gave me her email address and I almost giggled into the receiver....

bnice@------.com

Hmmmm....bnice. Be nice.

I'm sure that she has had more comments on her name than she cares to count, but it touched my heart.

a pinch of spring

The last few days have given me some hope that New England will see spring this year. I know, it is only February, but the mountains of snow that keep us from parking near the curb make my car ache for sunny days. While driving home, I noticed a neighbor taking advantage of the semi-melting ice piles. So I took off my winter coat and attacked our ice piles on the sidewalk. After half an hour of intense effort, our sidewalks are completely clear. When my husband drives up in a few minutes he will be able to park inches from the sidewalk!

Right now the neighborhood kids are playing in the street; something I haven't heard them do in months. I even splurged and opened a living room window so that the cat could partake in the almost-spring festivities.

I know that this weekend the temperatures will drop below freezing again. My winter coat will get plenty of use between now and when the tulip bulbs come up. But I have hope. Hope in a day when I can leave the house in less than three layers and my heated corn bags won't be needed for me to fall asleep.